"I'm sorry, William."

=I can't breathe.=  Funny, that was the first thought that struck him as she said those words.  Watching her leave, all he could think about was the absence of oxygen in his useless lungs, the supreme irony that she would call him by his human name, treat him like a man, even as she was rejecting him.

And even worse was that, for the first time maybe, she really saw him.

Yeah, he was a loser.  Always coming up with schemes, never quite following through.  But what other choice did he have?  He was evil, after all.  Not many good jobs out there for the evil and undead.

Even if he wanted to follow her into the light, he couldn’t.  Oh, no.  That was denied him as well.

But what really hurt the most was that she didn't even seem disappointed.  It was like she expected him to screw up, and he'd lived up--or lived down--to her expectations.  She should've remembered who he was, she said.

An evil, undead thing, right?

Angrily, he threw a charred bit of lamp against the wall.

He'd show her.  He show her what an evil thing could do.  He'd wait, real quiet like.  Wait till everyone was asleep: Red, Dawn, and the Bitch herself.  Then pour gas round the foundation, pull out the trusty Zippo and blam.

He'd be free.  Yeah.  Free.  No more worrying about doing something she wouldn't like.  No more trying to suss out what she wanted.  No more . . .

Golden hair, shorter now, shimmering in the light of the candle he kept lit, just so he could watch her sleep, chest rising and falling.  Alive.  Golden skin beneath his sheets, her mouth in a perfect "o," green eyes looking into his with . . . what?  He couldn't tell, but there was something there.  In the moments between hatred and self-loathing and recriminations, in the moment where the world fell away and there was just the two of them, he saw it.

He wanted to see it again.

With heavy limbs, he began to dispose of the remains of the bed.  Beneath the acrid scent of burnt wood and fabric, it still smelled of her.  He felt tired.  He felt dead inside.